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Friday, May 9, 2014

Love is always better

Four months! I've made it four months in this city. It feels like no time at all though. I'm so busy that I am shocked every time a new week comes around. How can it be Monday already!? Working 40 hours a week is hard, I'm always exhausted.
I am positive that this feeling has been magnified by the weather though. There have been three or four days where I could walk around in just a t-shirt and jeans; Other than that I am wearing a coat, battling with my umbrella or grabbing a taxi to avoid being outside.
People have said that this has been the hardest winter in years. And although I've always been one who loves snow, rain and cozy days with my book and a few Harry Potter movies, this is getting out of hand. 
I. just. need. sun. 

I do NOT love this weather.

Things I do love?
My room mates
The Bridges of Madison County musical soundtrack
My apartment
My Nook
Naps
FaceTime
The Farmers Market by my house
My job
I work Merch! Sounds thrilling right!?!? But its full of performers who are funny, smart, driven, people I really like being around. We work at Pippin, Kinky Boots, After Midnight and Murder for Two. That means I get to watch these shows for free! I don't do that every time I work, but even when I don't I am hearing these people sing and it reminds me why I am here. 
Because this is hard. If it was easy everyone would be doing it. 
I get to see an empty Broadway theater with just a ghost light onstage every time I work. 
There's something magical about that. About being there.

Sometimes I fear people will think I'm silly, idealistic or naive. I'm not. Its just, things are hard enough without trying to act "too cool" or like I don't care. I do care. I've already had my fair share of, what my friends and I call our "dark days". So now it is so important to me that I find magic, inspiration and love anywhere I can. So that's what I'm trying to do.

"But what I did is that I loved. And Love is always better." - JRB (Also me)

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

And we danced, And we Cried, And we laughed, And had a really really really good time

March 5:
My moms birthday. I had sent her flowers, which then couldn't be delivered. Then I ordered same day flowers, which were delivered. So she had two days of flowers which is good I suppose, but it caused a lot of anxiety and phone calls on my end. I was also slapped with a 400 dollar bill. I did not rack up this 400 dollars of electricity in an apartment I no longer lived in, but the power bill was in my name, so my credit is effected and my money is gone. So I was having a bad day.

But then, BUT THEN!

I went on a date, which was great. Good food, good conversation, cute boy ;) 
Also, there is a second date planned :) 
But the best part of the day was yet to come.

I had agreed to go to a dance thing with my roommate. She is not a dancer or a musical theater person. She takes this swing dance class. So I said "Yeah I'll go!" SIDE NOTE, if you know me well, you know that this is not something I would normally do. Venturing into a world where several different people would touch me, hold me close, probably sweat on me... yuck. But I've been trying to do things I normally wouldn't feel comfortable doing. Experience the great wide world. (Also now as I type this... the stakes are much lower... I might have over reacted about the flowers not being able to be delivered...) So after my date I met up with my roommate and we headed to the dance class.

If I could let you see this dance class I would. But I can't. The best I can do is google pics and find ones that are similar if not, the same humans that I experienced in the dance class. 

The old man with longer, thicker, dreadier hair than mine.
He was a good dancer, we didn't talk much but he say 
"Yeah, no you got it!" as if quoting a line from a movie

Facial hair guy. 
Not cute facial hair.
Just a great mustache.

Obviously this guy showed up.
I get comb overs ok; my dad had one up until about five years ago.
We danced, he got his sweat all over my hands and that was that. 
He also came up to me as I was leaving and earnestly asked "Oh are you leaving? I was hoping to get your number. If not, I'll get it at the next dance class."
To which I said ".....yes. I'm sure I'll see you again."

And this man.
The old science professor who looked like he could run a marathon at any moment.
He couldn't find a beat to save his life, but he was the most fun.
We chatted, he lead me around the dance floor, while telling me about science and his wife.


Just to be clear, these men were all so nice, I would have totally danced with them again. I even hope to. (Except sweaty man... keep your sweat away from me) I guess I just have been so enveloped in my own circle of humans that I forgot about all the fantastic kinds of people there are. These men all had totally different stories than the ones I am used to hearing. Reasons other than performing brought them to New York. I see hundreds of people everyday but, I was able to hear the stories of a few of these people and I was so delighted about it. I am looking forward to my next class :)


Friday, February 21, 2014

Bright lights in the big city

New York City.
That is where I am living for the moment.
I've been here since Jan 8th 2014. So its been about a month and a half. Its been a fantastic month and a half, its also been full of self doubt, coffee, early mornings, late nights, uncomfortable moments, friends.

It is a strange place to be. I've loved the movie "crash" since the first time I saw it, but I could never fully appreciate the title until living here. People crash into each other without a thought, I spend most of my days pressed up against people in the subway, at auditions, passing the hundreds of people on the street. But the lack of human contact is astonishing. I'm not one for human contact, no one would ever describe me as a "hugger". But what's strange is, because of all the crashing into people in this city, I'm finding myself longing for a real connection. To crash into someone on purpose.

I've been reunited with my best friends. I've had many great people in my life but there have always been these three, and I know there always will be. They have introduced me to some other fantastic humans while being here, some who have already left the city. I'm loving the memories we have been making, and the support we share with each other.

As for auditioning, its slow for now. I knew that it would be. I came in January so I could adjust to life here, not knowing that it would take me a matter of days to feel like this city was a part of me. I'm looking forward to March and April, when I can go from audition to audition. Until then, you can find me seeing a show, at the gym, living in a glamour tent etc, etc.

BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY! I saw this show opening day (My roommate plays Kelly O'Hara's daughter) and I was blown away. The music is amazing, the kind of music you can't stop singing when you leave the theater. And the work of the actors is magic. I sat in the theater crying and crying, thinking "This is why people do musical theater". The combination of so many different art forms onstage, is... I wish I had a more expressive word, but its magic. I feel so humbled to have seen such great actors but their heart into such a great piece of work. Go listen to it!