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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me.

There has been a shift in my feelings lately. A good one I feel. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about God, praying about things. For some reason for the past month and a half I've had this desire to spend time at church, spend time praying and searching. Problem is that I'm not really sure what I'm searching for. Maybe I'll know what I was looking for when I finally find it. 


I also have this desire to be softer... kinder. I find myself feeling silly for thinking these thoughts and for praying. I look forward to when I have the confidence to silence those thoughts. I hope I can continue this journey and work with God in this transformation period. 




Florence and The Machine "Shake it out"
Regrets collect like old friendsHere to relive your darkest momentsI can see no way, I can see no wayAnd all of the ghouls come out to playAnd every demon wants his pound of fleshBut I like to keep some things to myselfI like to keep my issues drawnIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blindI can never leave the past behindI can see no way, I can see no wayI'm always dragging that horse aroundAnd our love is pastured such a mournful soundTonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the groundSo I like to keep my issues drawnBut it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahShake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaahAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah
I am done with my graceless heartSo tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restartCause I like to keep my issues drawnIt's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahShake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woahAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off
And given half the chance would I take any of it backIt's a find romance but its left me so undoneIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don'tSo here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my roadAnd I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hopeIt's a shot in the dark and right at my throatCause looking for heaven, found the devil in meLooking for heaven, found the devil in meWell what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahShake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah


Monday, June 25, 2012

Wonderful Wonderful Day

It has been a great summer so far! I've been super busy and I'm about to get a lot busier too with Seven Brides (Up at Sundance) and my new Job at Nordstrom. Fall is looking like its going to be just as busy, I'll be taking 19 credit hours and I'll be in SLACs production of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson!
So far I:

Went home to Oregon


Took a road trip to Jackson Hole


Attended my first ever Toga Party


And had a singing Party in the middle of downtown Salt Lake City!


Life is so good. I was talking to Bronwyn the other day and she said "Jessica, we're doing it. I mean we are actually doing it. Like who would have thought that you me and John would be making a living from performing so soon. We made it!" And I feel that way. I feel like I am living the dream. I'm not in New York yet, I'm not on broadway, and I do have a lot of progress yet to be made, but I am living my dream! And I am happy. In two years I'll get to live my dream in New York (and hopefully on broadway) But I've be lucky enough to perform non stop for over a year, I am surrounded by people I love, and I am learning and growing. I love the memories I'm making and I look forward to creating many more, which will be just as wonderful!