Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sometimes I get a good feeling

I had an amazing week. I've just been feeling so positive and so happy. I am so so lucky, I have just about everything I want.

The Voodoo darling show was INCREDIBLE. I am so in love with the darlings and with Jen, she creates beautiful shows and I'm thrilled I can be a part of them.
Ben and I had a few wonderful adventures as well, I couldn't be more proud of him. Just when I was losing faith in people changing, I see him go through such a transformation. He is honest, authentic, kind, funny, a person I just adore being around. And I'm thrilled every time we are together.

There are lots of exciting things happening for me :) new friends, romances, LA bound in may (like I've got a place), performances left and right. I'm a very lucky girl :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Come what may, oh come what may, I will love you

This week is Valentine's day. I know I will not have time this week to post anything,
but being the believer that I am, a believer in love, I wanted to post something all about LOVE!
I believe in celebrating love. Because if there is anything worth celebrating, its love. 

Being short means I'm always up on my toes. :)

I love The Notebook!!

Grey's Anatomy 

I love so many things, I am lucky enough to have been madly in love, and to currently be in a passionate love affair with my life. I know Valentine's day is supposed to be about being in love and all that, but I'm in love with creating and with living and with theater, music, dance. So I get to celebrate my love of those things on this Valentines day. I get to create music, love, art, dance, passion, joy everyday and I love that. I have so many people in my life who I love and who love me. I know what true love feels like and what it can be. Settling for anything less than magical, passionate, extraordinary love, is unacceptable to me. Ordinary has no place in my life. Not in love, not it work, not ever. 

I am filling my life with love. Have a fantastic Valentines day. 
Love deeply, love honestly. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, It will set you free. Be more like the man you were made to be.

What a difference a year makes. 
Thinking about a year ago: Who I was. What I believed. Who I trusted. What I was doing. Where I was. 
I can't believe I have come so far in just a year. And I can't believe I stayed where I was for so long.

Finally standing up for myself. In this year I have stopped believing the lies I was told about who I was and what I was worth. When someone tells you each day to shine a little less, that you aren't worth it. You believe it. Or at least I did. Everyday I stayed in the pattern my life was in, I was picking to shine less, to play small. 
I don't do that anymore. I risk it all. I put everything on the line because that makes me BRAVE, not weak. Standing up for myself makes me a fighter. Crying makes me vulnerable, which takes COURAGE. Admitting I am wrong makes me strong. Being open and asking for feedback and assistance empowers me. 

My life has blossomed in this last year. Its taken a bit, but I can see the results in all aspects of my life. I have been performing literally NONSTOP. I always have a few different jobs going on, a year ago I wasn't booking anything. I have fantastic friends, who call me out, who tell me when I'm not being my best. A year ago I was around people who were ok with average. Who didn't want me to be my best. I have a relationship with my family, where I can talk to them and connect with them. I am happy, everyday is a good day. Everyday I feel good. I don't remember the last time I had an "off" day, or a bad day. 

Letting go hurts. Growing hurts. Thats why we call them "growing pains." But its been worth it. I learned the same lesson over and over. And I finally get it. I was insane for a while (doing the same thing and expecting a different result.) But this last year I've tried new things and I've gotten different results. Not all good, but I've learned. I've grown. I do not feel bitter about anything that has happened. 

And now I have so many goals I want to reach. So much personal growth I hope to experience. I look forward to learning new lessons. So I'm keeping myself open, keeping my heart open. Sometimes I'm a silly girl; I know I have a lot to learn, there are so many ways I could be a better person, and I know life will give me the chance to learn those lessons and develop into a better, stronger person. So maybe I'll feel more "growing pains", but it'll be worth it. I know I'm in a place where I will be challenged, in a place I can grow. I'm surrounded by love and light. I couldn't be luckier. :) 

Happy Valentines day, spend time with those who you love, who love you. Share love, feel love, give love!! 

Love is beautiful, fierce, and strong.
An insatiable, all-consuming fire.
A lion pacing on the red hot embers of desire.
Love is a thirst that's never quenched,
A sacred flame that can't be drenched
By icy showers of sobriety
Or a society
Strangled by notions of propriety.

So what kind of love is this,
This love that dares not speak its name?
This love that hangs its head in shame?
Is this so-called love even worthy of its name?

True love doesn't lie,
It doesn't hide,
And it will never be denied
The right to sing its furious song
In the sad, empty streets from dusk 'til dawn.
Love laughs at fear
And cries out its name for all to hear.

Love is beautiful,
Fierce, and loud.
But most of all,
Love is PROUD!