Monday, October 17, 2011

Was a prisoner inside now i'm breathing the air

Do you need a pick me up? Go click here. This is my room mates tumbler. When I need to remember important things like to be thankful, or happy, or that things will be ok, or that I'm beautiful, or to smile, haha ya know things like that, I visit her tumbler because I always feel... full after I visit it. Full of good things, and I like that. 

Also also aslo I am so lucky. SO LUCKY. Because I have so many great memories, friends, family, I just have so much. I HAVE SO MUCH!!! I am happy. 

Mom, Tia, Karli, Jaron, Carson, Tanner, Taylor, Shelby, Landon, Dustin, Trevor, Amanda. To these people I say this: Thank you! Thank you a million times over. Some of you I talk to everyday, some of you know everything about me, and some don't know much. This isn't a list of my best friends, but its a list of people who taught me something in the last two weeks. It was kind of a collective teaching but also I learned a lot from individuals. I was so surprised by the last two weeks... they just kinda sprang on me. And looking back on them I learned a lot. 
I learned (among other things) :
People will surprise you
Most people are good/kind
Some people want to bring you down
Most want to bring you up
A friend is always better than an acquaintance
Sometimes the hard thing is the right thing
I'll be ok
Its scary... and its also ok
Connecting with someone can be worth it
Things happen for a reason
When I take a leap of faith and open myself up, 9 times out of 10 the other person will too, making our connection/friendship/relationship stronger and better
Everyone has problems, so its ok if I do
Guilt isn't meant to be felt for more than a minute. Feel it and then do something about it
I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person
Its ok to want things. Its also ok when people don't want to give them to you. Get them yourself. And find someone/people who will assist you getting what you want. 
Knowing exactly what I want doesn't make me overbearing or controlling, it makes me CLEAR. 
Its ok for me to be me. All of me, all the time.

I will be learning these lessons over and over again. Because I forget. And I need to be reminded. But thats ok!!! Because what fun would life be if I learned everything right at once and then didn't learn anything else! Also as I look on the list of things I learned or RElearned, I think they are all pretty important, REALLY important. So its ok that I'll be learning these things over and over. :)

This album right now is on repeat,( Still... Dreaming Wide Awake: The Music of Scott Alan) I am loving every song! It just such a talented group of people and such great songs. I'd like to believe THIS is true. If it is or isn't I'm going to assume it is because its a happier ending and I'm creating a happy life.

I have a happy life. I do what I love, with who I love. I have so much to be thankful for, and I feel so thankful today. :)  

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