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Thursday, September 15, 2011

Who would have known how bitter sweet this would taste

Today was the day. The day I got news about... "it"(thats what I'll call it for now) And I thought I'd be upset. Maybe wish not nice things... but I had a terrific day. Today I got to sing songs I love and learn a hard/amazing dance from a hip hop dancer from LA and I got to audition for a musical. AND I spent two hours just talking about anything and everything... haha literally, with someone I just adore! It was just a great day where I got to connect with people, do what I love and got to learn a few new things.

This news, "it", wasn't unexpected... although it was denied in the past few months. Sometimes you know. People can say its not happening, but when you know, you just know. All I feel is... well I feel a lot, but I think its what I don't feel that is important. I do not feel bitter, sad, angry, mad. I do feel a loss. I do wish some more time had elapsed. But I feel hope. And I feel thankful that I got to/get to put my heart back together the right way this time. My WHOLE heart.

Church. All I can say is that I've been going and reading and thinking and praying. And I realized what a major piece of my heart was torn out when I questioned things, that part is healing now. I still have questions, but I'm asking the right ones to the right Person. I'll figure this out. I'm already on my way.



"I wish nothing but the best for you two." 

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