Sunday, June 5, 2011

You made me feel like a million bucks You do and I was made for you

This weekend has been A LOT! I've had fun celebrating Pride with my gay friends and it was good to just get out for a while. I didn't realize it but I'd kinda become a hermit.... just in my house all the time since Carson left and that isn't good! I feel the need to do a few shout outs to those who assisted me this weekend, so here we go:

Mutha (or mother whatevs):
Its been a little to long since I've seen her and I miss our sundays together. I really like being able to go to her house every sunday and just do nothing or everything and just BE. Even though I didn't grow up there and have a few memories there I'd like to erase from my mind, it feels like a home. Like my home. Of course Oregon also is my home. But My mom lives there... so it just fits ya know? Anyway this is a long way of saying I have a safe haven. I have it because she created it. And with all thats happened in my short life, that is so important. Have a safe place to go. I know its been sent from God and she has a gift. I don't think I know anyone with as good of intentions as she does.
UGH!!!!!!! It will forever and always be the biggest travesty that he is gay. We say this to each other often because we are soul mates. Seriously our souls are a matching pair. I've never met someone who is more similar to me, yet not in an annoying way. We value the same things, we love the same things, honestly I've never met a person who has understood me as well as Carson does. He truly feels WITH others when they hurt, feels joy for others when they succeed. His loyalty surpasses all those around him and anyone should do everything they can to have this amazing man as a part of their life. Because he will forever change it and leave it better and brighter. 
:D Thats how I feel when I think of Aaron. Oh and HEAVENS! The amount of patients this man has will forever be amazing to me. Words that come to mind are: kind, thoughtful, cute, understanding, patient. He has this great power to never have drama, he wont entertain it, he wont feed it. There are so many things about him that I wish I was. And I love that I can tell him "Aaron, help me be the best I can be. I don't want drama, I don't want to be anything but positive." and he actually does it! He'll just say "Jessica..." and then I'll remember! He is so great. 
Also my love goes out to Kyle, Ben Nelson, Tasha and Blake. For opening my eyes to a lot of things this weekend and for assisting me in remembering how good it feels to be surrounded by positivity, music and love! 

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