Monday, March 28, 2011

Die vampire DIE!!!!!

I loved today. And I learned a lot today. When I give personal things out everyone knows and I can't take it back. I guess I thought blogging was more personal than Facebook, meaning it isn't as open to the world. Truth is it's more open to the world. It can expose more of me than I thought. I've over exposed myself and now feel foolish. Because my personal thoughts and issues have been out for everyone to see, and I created that. I don't want that. Im learning how to express my emotions in an appropriate way. I want To learn and grow. I invite any assistance to this growth. Feedback is just information and I would like some. Honestly how can I expect to get better if I don't know where I need to grow strong?

Liars bother me. People who don't know me, have never had a real conversation with me, are lying about me. Which hurts. Word to the wise, before lying remember that now thanks to texting there is a kind of "paper trail" of the lies you spread. So there is proof that what you said is a lie.
I've decided to replace any hurt feelings with this thought "I cannot control anything but myself. My emotions. My reactions. Do I want to act or react?" I don't want drama. I won't let this cause drama. I get to pick how I act. An act is on purpose. A reaction is almost putting myself in a victim position "this and this happened so of course I had a reaction." I don't like that feeling. I get to pick how I act. People will do what they will do. Great. I get to do what I will do. Which is also great.

I'm praying more than ever. For strength. For hope. For peace. For assistance.

I am happy. I am positive. I am working.

Also everyone should listen "die vampire die" there is some sketchy language :( but I love the line "Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole, but if the vampire inside my head says it, it's the voice of reason."

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