Sunday, December 26, 2010

So this is Christmas

13 min ago it was Christmas. And it was the best one I've had so far.

I spent it with the person I am in love with and with family. 

I even got teary eyed as the clock came close to midnight because I didn't want it to be over.

I wouldn't change a single thing about this day.

Yes, I did get any gift I could have wanted or did want, but it paled in comparison to the happiness I felt today. I wish those gifts could be exchanged for another day as happy as this one was. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to All a good night. 

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm the perfect mistake that I'm hoping you'll make

I have that feeling. That uh oh feeling.

I feel old.

I feel like I'm nowhere near graduating.

I feel like I should have stayed at BYU, I would have been done so soon.

I feel like I have no idea what to major in.

I feel panicked.

I feel conflicted.

Heaven Help me.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

This is real this is me, I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be

Just incase you didn't notice I've started to make every blog title the line of a song. Its going to be my "thing" so be excited... I wonder if anyone even reads my blog...

I have this insatiable need to have things that are mine. My apartment. My bed. My car. A day thats Mine.

Also to do things on my own.

In my performance and culture class several of us did a presentation about ourselves or about someone we had read about. I was the only one who picked to do the project on someone else... Everyone else had to just tell the class about themselves, while I had to do research on someone else and memorize a page of info on them.
And in my Media and Pop culture class we had to do a group project where we wrote a 12 page paper, made a website and gave a presentation. I picked to do this alone. I could have had a group but I did it all myself.

I caused myself a lot of extra work and stress because I wanted to do it myself and have "my" projects.

I'm not selfish. I'm actually good at sharing. The issue here was rather that it was to much effort for me to put myself on the line. To do a project with others would require me speaking to others, reaching out to them. I was to shy. And instead of talking about myself and who I am I picked to spend hours researching someone else.

What does that say about me? And do I like it?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Who do you think you are running around making scars

My dog puts holes in all my clothing. Including my favorite tights, and hoodie. I wish I could declaw him... I would except thats a horrible thing to do to an animal. Very inhumane. So I wont do it.

I have to do all this before Sunday:
Write a 12 page paper 4000 words
Make two costumes for my dance show
come up with a monologue that is 5 min long
finish cheorographing two dances
stay sane

I'll get it done. And It'll be great.