Today I have nothing to do. Literally nothing. And I don't like that at all. I wish that I had work today or that I had rehearsal for something.
I am feeling the loneliness start. I love living where I do and I love love love the city, and I am enjoying my classes so much. But today I am feeling tender about leaving BYU and all the people. Even though most of the people I love most also left, I miss having us all together... I miss being at Ben, Dallin and Johns apartment everyday with Pj. I miss singing together in the RB, I miss dancing in studios at all hours of the night. I miss watching TV shows with my mom a few nights a week. Its hard going from this elite program where literally everyone in your major is your friend and you know every single person in your major, to not knowing anyone in your classes, and I don't live in the dorms so its harder to make friends.
I guess what I'm saying is I miss friends. Being in a serious relationship is wonderful, its been one of the greatest joys so far in my life. But it leaves little room for as close of friendships as you had before. This is why I loved girls night so much this summer. Because I was able to have a night completely dedicated to my friendships, particularly my friendships with girls. Girls night hasn't happened in a while... :( hopefully it can start again. I feel a twinge of jealousy every time a table of girls comes into the restaurant to eat, or when its just two women sitting at talking over dessert. Brooke and I used to do that... now she is states away. I need girls.
Maybe the rainy day is just rubbing off on me.