Tuesday, February 23, 2010

P90X vs. Insanity

P90X is this wonderful workout program that is all the latest craze. So my roomies and I decided to do it together to get ready for Sexy Swim Day. However, I go to the gym everyday. Every. Single. Day. I do not miss a day, even when I am sick. I do at least 25 min of cardio followed by weights. Legs one day, arms the next and so forth. And abs everyday. So I would spend at least an hour and a half at the gym. P90X is only an hour a day, and I wasn't really seeing the results I wanted. In fact I felt like I was in better shape and pushing myself more when I was doing my own workout plan.

SO my roommate Holly came to me and said she felt similar and wanted to try INSANITY. Insanity is a 60 day program that is made by the same people who made P90X only its a lot harder. (clearly...I mean its called Insanity people.) So we bought it and I did the first video today, and it was perfect. Just hard enough to make me sweat, but not so much that I wanted to die. After day 60 there are going to be pictures posted here, so be looking out for them!

50 Things I Love

1. My New Testament class at BYU
2. The study guide my mom gave me to use in my New Testament class
3. Dancing
4. Music
5. Singing
7. Acting
8. My mom
9. My iPhone
10. Musicals
11. Good movies
12. Breaking the rules
13. Friends
14. My room mates
15. P90X/insanity
16. Turkey deli meat
17. Crunchy apples
18. Where I live. Like the building(i'm not referring to Utah)
19. The sun
20. Being warm
21. Working out
22. My brothers
23. My grandma
24. Answered prayers
25. Gray
26. Love
27. Washing my face
28. Taking showers
29. The smell of rain
30. Keeping up with the Kardashians
31. Driving
32. Jesus
34. God
35. When the wind is warm
36. My laptop
37. Good conversations
38. Weekly meals at outback
39. Anything that has rhinestones on it
40. Purple
41. Feedback
42. Naps
43. Cool whip
44. Crystal light
45. My bed
46. Fashion
47. Being a girl
48. Working
49. Myself
50. My moms bed

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I love you anyway

"Things have not been easy I guess everybody knows
we've had our highs but oh we've had our lows
hope that you remember those cozy summer nights
when something deep inside you told you this was right
and even when you tell me we don't fit that well we got something beautiful i hope you agree
because you mean so much to me, that
I love you anyway, yes I love you anyway
even on the rainy days
when you wont meet my gaze and there's nothing left to say,
thats when I know its true 
that I was meant to be with you,
so you can do what you may 
but I will always stay
'cause I love you any way
I don't if I'll ever be what you really need,
but I'll just keep on trying even if I don't succeed
I really hope I get there even if for just one day
and if I don't I really hope you say
I love you anyway yes I love you anyway
even on the rainy days
when you wont meet my gaze and there's nothing left to say
thats when I know its true
that I was meant to be with you
so you can do what you may
but I will always stay
'cause I love you anyway
nobody likes to think that someone see's the ugly in them
but people wind up all alone if they don't let somebody in 
and its a bit nieve to think that loving, living together we wont see
all the shamefull things inside us, but if we love then we'll be free
to be you and me and we'll agree that unconditionally
I love you anyway yes I love you anyway
even on the rainy days
when you wont meet my gaze and there's nothing left to say,
thats when I know its true
that I was meant to be with you
so you can do what you may
but I will always stay
'cause I love you anyway
yes I love you anyway"

I'm in love. Despite all my efforts not to be. I fought it hard, but I lost. I learned that I can't fight love. 
Love is love. Its always going to win. :) 

Friday, February 19, 2010


Paul. I am amazed at all Paul has said. The wisdom he had and shared is incredible. 

I had a major reading day in Romans. It was a little rough. Paul doesn't speak like most of the scriptures, he is hard to understand. At least for me. But wow, I found some powerful things in Romans today. I have so many new favorites. One being:

Romans 12: 21"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."

Simple. Powerful. True.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

SEXY SWIM DAY (And all that goes along with it)

SEXY SWIM DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've found that when I have a positive, reward/goal to work toward I do better at achieving said goal. So Pj and I created Sexy Swim Day. Its May 1 2010 and on this day we plan on going to the pool with our new sexy bodies that we have worked so hard to get. We are going to reward ourselves. Enrolling others in my goal always assists me, so now almost all my friends are working towards the same goal. And its great to have people who can come from a loving place and say "do you really want to eat that Jessica? Sexy swim day." I can call or text them and they assist me keeping on track. PLUS it makes me accountable to someone other than myself, and for me that a big motivator.

Just for some extra info, I typed a huge post all about my new passions that I'm working toward, and it was all deleted. Ugh. BUT hopefully I'll get them up in shorter versions.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Love it

This morning (Feb 15th) I woke up to my alarm (demi lovato ringtone on my phone) rolled over and turned it off. THEN I pressed play on my iHome and took the chances to see what songs fate would have me wake up to today. Today fate loves me. The first song played was:

Hey soul sister - Train - My current favorite. I can't get enough of it :)
All you need is Love - The Beatles - Who doesn't love this song. All you need is love!
Don't stop believing - Glee Cast - ugh!!!! PERFECTION. My motivational song. It makes me remember summer :)

Last night two of my friends and I had a Valentines day dinner, we got ourselves boxes of chocolates, heart shaped pizza, doughnuts, ate them all and watched love things on TV. It was perfect! I was able to share a night with not just one person I love, but two!!! Last year my mom and I had a Bourne trilogy marathon and ate carbs. Which I'll be honest I loved... I love Jason Bourne...and I love carbs...AND I love my mom. But this year it was nice to celebrate love :)

I was a little sad yesterday though because my love wasn't able to come to our dinner. He was working until late last night, which I understood, but still... Last year we weren't able to be together and this year I thought it would be nice to at least see each other. AND WE DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gray surprised me at my door with flowers and a box of chocolates! He drove all the way down after a night of working to surprise me :) I'd never gotten flowers and chocolate on Valentines day before, it is wonderful!

Yay for Valentines day. A day to celebrate Love. I once hated it SO much. But why? It doesn't have to be about romantic love, if your heart feels for someone else then this is a day for you to celebrate that. And love is the ultimate reason to celebrate. I love love.

I love life. I love psych class. I love dance class. I love voice lessons. I love my mom. I love Gray. I love Tasha, Josh, Aaron, Matt, Travis, Pj, John, Dallin, Billy, Michael, Brooke, Zach, Daniel, Matthew, Ryan, ALL MY FRIENDS. I love my house. I love change. I love service. I love grape crystal light. I love warm wind. I love film. I love music. I love my life.

I am loving rehearsals. A lot. The music is so fun, the dancing is so fun, its just a feel good musical. Nothing that will change your life, but when you leave the performance you will feel good. And maybe that will be a life changing experience for someone. Working with the cast is awesome, there are some pretty darn talented people at BYU. We open at the end of March and I'm pretty pumped for it. Plus I'm learning a lot about myself as a member of a cast and how I show up.

A few weeks ago I found out that I was cast in the summer shows at Lagoon! Which will be fun, I will love being able to take some classes at the Salt Lake Center, I'll love living in Salt Lake, I'll love performing, and I'll love having an amazing summer!! :)
Tuacahn lets us know hopefully this next week. I was called back for Jane in Tarzan, which would be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. so we'll see how that goes, and Jackson Hole auditions are this weekend! I'l excited about my future :)

Also I can't wait to move to LA. To start auditioning and booking films, TV shows, to finally sign my record deal. Its all coming and its going to be amazing. It is amazing.

I'm just going to say it. I love my body. I've always been a pretty healthy eater but just not eating actual meals, now I cook myself three meals a day and have snacks! I still go to the gym everyday. I love feeling my body moving, feeling myself grow stronger. Its amazing to have a body that works. I'm trying these new work outs and they are bringing me great results, I'm seeing my abs come out like never before. People, I have cut lines! Woohoo!

Pj, John, Gray, Joe and me are working towards "SEXY SWIM DAY!" on May first we are all going to go to the pool and show off all our hard work. Its nice to have people to assist you, support you, just to have people working towards the same goal. Haha even if I'm the only one really taking it super seriously :)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Mi Madre and discoveries

Great life invited us to invite someone special to come join us for an activity on Sat. So I asked my mom if she would join me. And to my surprise she said yes! I've been asking her for about four months to get involved with great life in some way, and I was thrilled. Not just because she was coming to great life for something, but because I had asked her honestly because I wanted to be with her and do something special. I came from my heart which I haven't allowed myself to do in a while, and its funny how when you come from your heart people can tell and respond accordingly.

We went and had the chance to serve others. We prepared twelve hearty meals and took them to the homeless who were on the street outside of the homeless shelter. It was amazing to talk to the people there and to connect with them. We even had some toilet paper in the car and people asked for it. It broke my heart. But the love and thankfulness I felt coming from those people was amazing. And it was so wonderful to see my mom in action. That was probably the best part. I am so thrilled with how I spent my time this weekend. I can't wait till she and I do it again. We have plans to do it at least once a month.

My heart is full. And even better, my heart is open.

I've learned that I can be open, I can be authentic, caring, deep, passionate. Correction, that I AM those things. I AM EVERYTHING. Anything I chose I am. I AM.

I used to think it was shallow for me to like to dress well or look nice, it was shallow to care about those things. But its not. I am not shallow. For so long that was my deepest fear. That peoples views of me being just pretty and talented, and shallow, would be true. That I'd look in the mirror one day and just be this plastic girl. But I'm not. I am deep. I am compassionate. I honestly care about others and act on it. I am not just the pretty talented girl. I'm the girl that without broadcasting it to the world helps with the special Olympics, recycles, donates money, helps others, talks to those who need a friend, listens. And I'm also talented and I'm also pretty. I don't have to pick between being a granola, do good person and the girl who likes to look good. I don't have to pick because I'm both. I am more that that. But this has been a huge thing for me. I don't need to hide the deep, compassionate side of who I am anymore. I don't know if others with think its fake, but I don't care. Its been there all along, I'm just letting it show as much as the rest of me now.

We all are. We just are. I am. You are. Just be. Just love. Thats all there is.


I love mushrooms. I love them raw. I love the way they taste. I love them sauteed in "I can't believe its not butter" zero calorie spray. I love mushrooms for the added bonus that they are only 15 calories per cup.

I love gum. Mint gum and fruit gum. I love love love love love gum.

I love the gospel. My heart exploded in church today. Because it felt so much love and truth. Oh how I love the gospel.

I love music. It transforms me everyday. It is in everything I do. Adagio for strings is perhaps the most beautifully moving piece of music ever written for strings. Music is a spiritual experience in my life.

I love soy milk. I love it heated up in a special glass. And even more when I add three tablespoons of sugar free hazelnut syrup to it. Its like comfort in a cup. Each night I have some just before bed. It is perfection. PERFECTION.