Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I confess

1. Every time I sing for people (church, school, an audition, performance, whatevs) I tell myself that I'm the best singer they have ever heard. I always do better when I do.

2. I tell myself everyday that I am stunning, beautiful, loving, passionate, authentic and whatever else I feel like being that day. 

3. I used to get terribly nervous when meeting new people. Thats only changed this last month.

4. It gives me anxiety to call people on the phone that I do not know.

5. There was about a month this year where my diet was only popcorn and diet root beer. 

6. I'm obsessed with the color purple. Dark deep purple. Never light purple.

7. I am always cold. 

8. I sing all the time. Literally. I'll be in public and someone will tell me I have a beautiful voice and I wont even be aware of the fact that I was singing. 

9. I watch myself sing in the mirror. And I video tape performances and watch them. It helps me get rid of "isms" that I do.

10. I love diet cherry dr pepper.

11. I think people who don't drink soda because "its bad for you" are silly. Most of them eat garbage anyway. 

12. People who are different or weird just to be different bug me.  

13. I 100% believe that I am going to be a successful working actress and musician/recording artist. 

14. I also 100% believe that I will do the above and have a family. 

15. I believe that nothing is impossible.

"The things which are impossible with men are possible with God" Luke 18:27

Saturday, December 19, 2009


I have this friend. Named Zach.
He is always making me take a look at myself. Seeing what I could be doing better. He always helps me too. He'll remind me why I'm doing something... why I gave something up. All I have to do it text or call him and say "Remind me why I'm doing this." or "Tell me its all going to work out."

We make these pacts with each other, to keep each other on the right path. And it works well because we are accountable to someone other than just ourselves.

Even when he is having a bad day, the worst day, he makes me smile. He makes me feel happy. Just by being around him. I can't help but say "Oh my gosh Zach I love you so much!" Over and over when we are together.

And just when I thought I had people at BYU pegged, he came along and changed my whole view. By following his example I find my faults, acknowledge that they are there, and then try and fix them because I know they are wrong. Even if its my human nature, if its just "who I am", I can see the things that are wrong and I work on changing them. I love that he isn't perfect, but instead of making excuses like most, he admits he knows better and asks for help. What a great example for me.

He is one in a million. I can't say enough good things about him. I'm grateful God put him in my life. I've said for a while that I needed a good friend who gets it, who is my age, who is at BYU with me, who I can text at any hour of the day or night; and here is such a friend. :)

Monday, December 14, 2009


I'm trying this new thing where I say what I'm grateful for grateful for each day. Along with a few positive affirmations. I've been saying the affirmations for a while now, but I just recently started the grateful statements. The combination is powerful. Things are happening. Changing. Not all at once, but little by little. And that is all it takes.

"...By small and simple things are great things brought to pass..." Alma 37:6
That same verse also says "...And small means in many instances doth confound the wise". When I read that I thought how true that is. How many times do I over think things, think that the answer is to simple, or trick myself into believing that situations are more complicated than they actually are? So I'm trying to see the small simple things that are happening, because they are pilling up and becoming great big things :)

Small and simple things can be used to bring to pass great things of good, or great things of bad. This scripture doesn't just apply to all good. Bad things can be brought to pass by small and simple things. So I'm also keeping an eye out for those small things that aren't bringing light into my life. Because so matter how small and trivial they seam, they will pile up. Things that do not bring light, bring darkness. I don't want a pile of darkness.

Hanukkah and Johnssica

Ok so I'm not Jewish. But I did attend a Jewish party tonight. Hanukkah party I guess I should say. We light the candles and my friend sang a song, and we even played with a dradle! It was so awesome to learn about a different culture and religion. I'm so glad I have friends who open my eyes to so many different things. And that in the end, it affirms my beliefs even more. I walk away with a greater love and appreciation for my friends and their beliefs, and my own are strengthened. Its a win win situation.

Johnssica Christmas Extravaganza.
Its always epic.
This year we added ice skating. OUTSIDE.
It was magical. There was snow falling while we were outside ice skating.
I loved it.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I'm learning

"People don't find out who they are until the end of their life, when they can look back and see if they chose everyday to be the person they were meant to be, the person they wanted to be. Until then it isn't about finding out who we are, its about knowing who we are meant to be, who we want to be, and choosing to be it."

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Music fills every part of my body, every thought I have, every feeling, every dream.

Nothing has such a universal power as music. Even if people don't realize it. Almost every place we go there is music playing.

Currently on my favorite mix are these songs

Crawl - Chris Brown
Love Story - The Scene Aesthetic
Beauty in the Breakdown - The Scene Aesthetic
One less lonely girl - Justin Bieber
Fire Flies - Owl City
The Mess I made - Parachute
Ordinary people - John Legend
This time - John Legend
I can Transform ya - Chris Brown
How do you sleep - Jesse McCartney
Where I stood - Missy Higgins
Falling Slowly - Kris Allen