Sunday, September 27, 2009

It takes your breath away

Grey's Anatomy premiered this week!!! My favorite show of all time :) And I cried so much during the those two hours. For happy things and sad things. And I believe that this quote is my favorite one I have ever heard on the show. There are so many good ones, I could dedicate a whole blog to just Grey's quotes. Here is my new favorit:

"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive.By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again.And always, every time, it takes your breath away"

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Somewhere only we know

How can your heart want something so much, while also wanting anything but that thing?

"whoever said "What you don't know can’t hurt you", was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world." - Grey's Anatomy

I don't know. I don't know what I want, whats going to happen, what has happened, where I stand, who stands with me, I just don't know. I wish that God would just tell me what I should do. It's so much easier to follow directions, finding out on my own is the worst.

Today is emotional. I'd give anything to know why. I'm feeling emotional and I don't know why.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I love my life

Simply put I love life.

Its not perfect, I'm not perfect and the people and events are not perfect. But I love it all anyway.

AND I love my friends for making the most of situations. Tuesday night could have been such a crappy night. But because I have amazing friends we made it one of the best nights.

I am in love with dancing right now. I have a feeling thats where all my money will be going...gas (so I can get to Salt Lake) and then paying to get in. And I am so ok with that.

There is a new quote that I need to share! I think its beautiful and uplifting and I want to spread beautiful and uplifting things!

"Perhaps strength doesn't reside in having never been broken, but in the courage required to grow strong in the broken places"

Love it. I love everything about it.

Oh and I love being wrong about people. I am pretty shy (although most people would not agree) I just get really nervous when I meet new people, I guess you could say I'm intimidated by people. So I love when I start to really hang out with someone, really get to know them and they are totally different than I thought. Not that I ever think that people are bad, but its just a wonderful surprise when I get along with people who I never thought I would, people who I was intimidated by! I'm finding that most everyone has good intentions, and almost all people really are good, you just need to get to know them.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I wish to be the happiest person who ever lived.

My friend Bri is who i heard that phrase from. "I wish to be the happiest person who ever lived."

And I also want to be the happiest person who ever lived. So I'm going to be. Starting now. Yes there will be sad days, but trust me, I will be the happiest person who ever lived... we should all believe that about ourselves and try to achieve that. The world would be much better if we all tried to be that person.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


I am amazed by what people say.
By the good and the bad. Today I had lots of things that amazed me, just as many good as bad.

So here I sit feeling amazed. I also sit here feeling upset.

All I can say is that today was amazing.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Seriously? Seriously.

Yesterday was a heck of a day. Started out great, woke up with some of my favorite people around me, in a place I love. Followed by a wonderful movie (Adam). For those who have not seen it, you need to. It is beautiful. The message was so great and it was presented so well. I was blown away by the acting as well. I love when I go to movies and they make me remember why I'm still doing what I'm doing. When they remind me why I'm working so hard. Because I love when I have an experience during a film, a show, a concert; when I can do more than just "see" a show. When I'm moved to the point that I have an experience. Those moments change my life. And maybe in just a small way, but they do. And I want to pay it forward. I hope someday I can give people the joy that I have when those artists give me an experience. I pray that I can one day do the same for other people.

My little red car is now in the shop however :( I was in a little ditch and lost my oil pan. Thankfully I'll get it back soon :) Sad news number two, my camera screen is broken :( yay for it still being able to take pictures though :) haha the little view finder is useful now. Thank heaven Kodak still feels the need to put a view finder on a digital camera, otherwise I'd be up a creek!

Lots of feelings bubbled up yesterday. I'm not sure how I feel about it all yet... I miss something, but I'm not sure what yet. Someone being there when your car is in a ditch. Knowing that this one person will drop anything to help you. That position is empty for now. I haven't decided yet if I'd like someone to fill it quite yet. It was nice to know that I could do it by myself though. That I can be an adult all by myself. Scary as it is.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

K so I'm starting this blog for a few reasons. One - tonight I read a note on my friends facebook that made me cry because it was so beautiful. He talked about all the things he believes, and it made me think of so many things and I want to write them Two - I think this is going to be better than facebook to keep people (mostly family) updated on what is going on in my life Three - I wanted a place to share all my favorite quotes and scriptures and Four - I'm not good about journaling and I figure this is the closest thing I'll get to that :)

This last year was rough, but this summer my life started to be happy again, but I am so thankful that I was able to have those unpleasant experiences, because now I can see my blessings so much clearer, and I appreciate real friends so much more. And its even more evident when I see who God has put into my life, people like the young man who wrote this. I believe that God does notice me, and he does care about me. He makes that clear to me all the time, often through the words of a friend. Tonight he chose to make it clear through these words:

"I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for the rest of your life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. Which sucks.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That we are all here for many purposes.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That in learning about ourselves, we learn about God, Jesus Christ, and the Atonement.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
In my limitted experience, that LOVE is the reason we are here.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

I Believe that I am a Child of God, and that's all that matters."